I promise you can get through this. You're not alone.
Out of the Limerence Loop
In this two-part book, I first help you understand what is happening in your mind and body when you are stuck in obsessive infatuation. Then I guide you through practical exercises to help you break free, step by step. More mental space, more calm, and a greater sense of control over your life.
For a long time, I thought I was “just normally in love,” even though I felt ashamed of how intense it was.
This book is for anyone whose infatuation has become a loop of hoping, waiting, and losing yourself in one person, the pattern known as limerence. Inside, I explain what is happening in your brain and body and walk you through practical steps to break that cycle. You really can recover from limerence, even if it feels impossible right now. Everything that helped me has been brought together in this book for you.
Receive a short, English guide with 10 insights about limerence, so you can better understand what is happening to you and know that you are not alone.
For years, from my teenage years well into my forties, I assumed my intense infatuations were “just how I was.” It was only when I discovered the term limerence and immersed myself in the science and literature around it that I began to understand why I kept losing myself in one person over and over again. Drawing on that combination of decades of personal experience and research, I wrote this book as a practical guide for anyone who recognizes themselves in this pattern. It is the book I so deeply wish I could have read many years ago.
I painfully recognized myself in the descriptions of limerence. What helped me most was that this book not only explains what is happening, but also gives concrete exercises for the exact moments when I would normally start checking or fantasizing. I no longer feel completely at the mercy of my mind; there is finally some space between my thoughts and what I actually do. It takes perseverance, but that is true for any real change in life."
Marianne (37)
“I’ve read other books about obsessive love, but they often stayed very theoretical. In this one, I felt that ‘ping’ of recognition over and over again. It’s actually painful to admit how much shame I feel around this, but I do. The exercises helped me notice that, over time, my days were no longer completely centered around ‘him,’ but more and more around my own life. It is not a straight line, but I can already feel that real recovery is possible."
Thomas (42)
"Just having a word for “limerence” brought some relief, but this book went far beyond putting a label on it. It helped me understand why unclear, half-available people kept showing up in my life and pulling me in so deeply. The mix of clear explanations and reflection questions really works. For me, the “back to my body” practices were the most powerful. After a few weeks, I could feel myself taking back control over how often my mind spiraled off into fantasies. I felt relieved and genuinely grateful. and also a little sad that I didn’t learn this twenty years ago... or even 40 years..."
