{"id":669,"date":"2026-06-19T16:52:26","date_gmt":"2026-06-19T16:52:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/?p=669"},"modified":"2026-07-27T09:02:29","modified_gmt":"2026-07-27T09:02:29","slug":"limerence-with-someone-else","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/en\/limerence-with-someone-else\/","title":{"rendered":"In love with someone other than your partner: is it limerence?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In this article, you will read what limerence is, what limerence means when you already have a partner, and why this form of obsessive infatuation can feel so confusing and intense. You will also.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you want to understand the basics of limerence calmly first, it helps to also read my article on&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/en\/what-is-limerence\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>What limerence is<\/strong><\/a>&nbsp;to read, where I explain the core and the limerence meaning step by step.<a href=\"https:\/\/ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com\/web\/direct-files\/collection_b90c96e0-67ab-41b1-aac0-a66129a577ad\/3de90860-5a60-4a1c-a49f-c84dab74abed\/zoekwoorden-Limerence-Nederland-Belgie.docx?AWSAccessKeyId=ASIA2F3EMEYEV3JNEWHN&amp;Signature=lDcH78%2FTibW7SyBqCujbwBRhYrE%3D&amp;x-amz-security-token=IQoJb3JpZ2luX2VjEPn%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FwEaCXVzLWVhc3QtMSJHMEUCIAqN8uHUZwmhKMm8FVP0tzP912RY4MokOJmbI2nXpG%2BbAiEA3UEozBIJQX29KhwuYmcaduiPc3ao22jlpI0%2BRt4W2E4q%2FAQIwf%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FARABGgw2OTk3NTMzMDk3MDUiDJ8DDAod8xno3agBUirQBLylvhjXRSlmZQu0HOcF7XIyWAzIWRDDmeLcEYBSZiC7zaoYCom%2FwQTncfCfwEsjf3sq0JErTbf88AqrIFNvq8NmrsXDG2TCYy8GLM2MAqSAeA8OUdq8JfvaErxyFKoY6xXWtsOePrKgX9Vh2diHV%2B10J8hihXMFCB4Ji8Im5vhsWGcyXa8wROsCddh40vYVDnRD%2FSUq5D68KPjVGnxKWBMo4nBfDHOfIUkkg2u22RroAVBVev8gJeLZ5W%2Be0xfwOUlrZAgotbzbdD%2Bo633TCAaba2qopO11cZV5IVy53P2Z9B%2FDvDkC1RuJXW%2FsOZRTF%2Bkz0vP6zTlWUeJmq0PnMTrK63pbLAoY0e5v5aRNSfVCAtamKTnYaPCQH94l6Y7Mv7zAR76lLSnef3qw%2Bji2h8XdytAggwwzVPi05iLXqF8pSSC7jUXU%2FSOsW2FYHmYC2Tff8x9hVqPFHNSxPSab2YPkjESfdG8TUZbHAxgTlWzVGfBmamli%2Fxb3hEDR6q1Q9MW5XO5JECUkaUb1vq8xTFvs8gTdV8fN1QstTF%2FxRjhmPLGxcLdh6WdLO7FK2qXobYbFIQJ1XGrhP9llfFm9qKKvy%2FXRcjmDYrpKoHqR%2B38%2BkqF7DMmVpMZVgf%2F2KA1Z5TUP9KjYj7j7dm8BFiQrd35ppd7oQnW%2FoRLFyqqGW7ap9QQ87mj%2FTEOTGHlukXQOtTRDanFZn7JFDopJXyNKNirjU6pn4n%2BwP9aPo82FyQHUr65h53ziAzGPOP9DqQc7x7jOqT7%2BtSSSJHEkjmDLpF4wmtXV0QY6mAH6Vjm2V7BkBwFWYOFZZnBHU7yIY3WaPVz%2Fv%2B%2FzgotJQxY0BXHNUb3GkusBTmeK1oJW3ojijZb5jUk63fq5dkCQwEUGKP1TJlK9uOM9teBTsX91bWXbQdSA%2FH8HpCFGg05dNea2Oo%2BYEAMrN1PcwS5Qex3uZ%2FdY7VI2SCQbe%2BEu8hdZhVKsC8jJrNvxAx%2BoICkX5uf5HtjJVg%3D%3D&amp;Expires=1781889133\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/livingwithlimerence.com\/limerence-and-emotional-attachment\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What Means Limerence in Daily Life?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Limerence is a psychological term for a state of intense, often obsessive infatuation with one person. The meaning of limerence goes beyond \u201cjust being very in love\u201d: it is often accompanied by obsessive thoughts, strong hope of being chosen, idealization of the other person, and significant mood swings depending on small signals.<a href=\"https:\/\/livingwithlimerence.com\/what-is-limerence\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com\/web\/direct-files\/collection_b90c96e0-67ab-41b1-aac0-a66129a577ad\/3de90860-5a60-4a1c-a49f-c84dab74abed\/zoekwoorden-Limerence-Nederland-Belgie.docx?AWSAccessKeyId=ASIA2F3EMEYEV3JNEWHN&amp;Signature=lDcH78%2FTibW7SyBqCujbwBRhYrE%3D&amp;x-amz-security-token=IQoJb3JpZ2luX2VjEPn%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FwEaCXVzLWVhc3QtMSJHMEUCIAqN8uHUZwmhKMm8FVP0tzP912RY4MokOJmbI2nXpG%2BbAiEA3UEozBIJQX29KhwuYmcaduiPc3ao22jlpI0%2BRt4W2E4q%2FAQIwf%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FARABGgw2OTk3NTMzMDk3MDUiDJ8DDAod8xno3agBUirQBLylvhjXRSlmZQu0HOcF7XIyWAzIWRDDmeLcEYBSZiC7zaoYCom%2FwQTncfCfwEsjf3sq0JErTbf88AqrIFNvq8NmrsXDG2TCYy8GLM2MAqSAeA8OUdq8JfvaErxyFKoY6xXWtsOePrKgX9Vh2diHV%2B10J8hihXMFCB4Ji8Im5vhsWGcyXa8wROsCddh40vYVDnRD%2FSUq5D68KPjVGnxKWBMo4nBfDHOfIUkkg2u22RroAVBVev8gJeLZ5W%2Be0xfwOUlrZAgotbzbdD%2Bo633TCAaba2qopO11cZV5IVy53P2Z9B%2FDvDkC1RuJXW%2FsOZRTF%2Bkz0vP6zTlWUeJmq0PnMTrK63pbLAoY0e5v5aRNSfVCAtamKTnYaPCQH94l6Y7Mv7zAR76lLSnef3qw%2Bji2h8XdytAggwwzVPi05iLXqF8pSSC7jUXU%2FSOsW2FYHmYC2Tff8x9hVqPFHNSxPSab2YPkjESfdG8TUZbHAxgTlWzVGfBmamli%2Fxb3hEDR6q1Q9MW5XO5JECUkaUb1vq8xTFvs8gTdV8fN1QstTF%2FxRjhmPLGxcLdh6WdLO7FK2qXobYbFIQJ1XGrhP9llfFm9qKKvy%2FXRcjmDYrpKoHqR%2B38%2BkqF7DMmVpMZVgf%2F2KA1Z5TUP9KjYj7j7dm8BFiQrd35ppd7oQnW%2FoRLFyqqGW7ap9QQ87mj%2FTEOTGHlukXQOtTRDanFZn7JFDopJXyNKNirjU6pn4n%2BwP9aPo82FyQHUr65h53ziAzGPOP9DqQc7x7jOqT7%2BtSSSJHEkjmDLpF4wmtXV0QY6mAH6Vjm2V7BkBwFWYOFZZnBHU7yIY3WaPVz%2Fv%2B%2FzgotJQxY0BXHNUb3GkusBTmeK1oJW3ojijZb5jUk63fq5dkCQwEUGKP1TJlK9uOM9teBTsX91bWXbQdSA%2FH8HpCFGg05dNea2Oo%2BYEAMrN1PcwS5Qex3uZ%2FdY7VI2SCQbe%2BEu8hdZhVKsC8jJrNvxAx%2BoICkX5uf5HtjJVg%3D%3D&amp;Expires=1781889133\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/limerence.net\/help-im-married-and-have-limerence-for-someone-else-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can then notice that you are constantly thinking about someone, analyzing conversations, re-reading messages, building fantasies, and becoming emotionally unbalanced when that person is distant, ambiguous, or conversely, warm. This is also why many people search for terms like \u201climerence meaning\u201d or \u201cwhat is limerence\u201d: they feel that this is more than a regular crush but don't yet have a name for what is happening internally.<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com\/web\/direct-files\/collection_b90c96e0-67ab-41b1-aac0-a66129a577ad\/3de90860-5a60-4a1c-a49f-c84dab74abed\/zoekwoorden-Limerence-Nederland-Belgie.docx?AWSAccessKeyId=ASIA2F3EMEYEV3JNEWHN&amp;Signature=lDcH78%2FTibW7SyBqCujbwBRhYrE%3D&amp;x-amz-security-token=IQoJb3JpZ2luX2VjEPn%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FwEaCXVzLWVhc3QtMSJHMEUCIAqN8uHUZwmhKMm8FVP0tzP912RY4MokOJmbI2nXpG%2BbAiEA3UEozBIJQX29KhwuYmcaduiPc3ao22jlpI0%2BRt4W2E4q%2FAQIwf%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FARABGgw2OTk3NTMzMDk3MDUiDJ8DDAod8xno3agBUirQBLylvhjXRSlmZQu0HOcF7XIyWAzIWRDDmeLcEYBSZiC7zaoYCom%2FwQTncfCfwEsjf3sq0JErTbf88AqrIFNvq8NmrsXDG2TCYy8GLM2MAqSAeA8OUdq8JfvaErxyFKoY6xXWtsOePrKgX9Vh2diHV%2B10J8hihXMFCB4Ji8Im5vhsWGcyXa8wROsCddh40vYVDnRD%2FSUq5D68KPjVGnxKWBMo4nBfDHOfIUkkg2u22RroAVBVev8gJeLZ5W%2Be0xfwOUlrZAgotbzbdD%2Bo633TCAaba2qopO11cZV5IVy53P2Z9B%2FDvDkC1RuJXW%2FsOZRTF%2Bkz0vP6zTlWUeJmq0PnMTrK63pbLAoY0e5v5aRNSfVCAtamKTnYaPCQH94l6Y7Mv7zAR76lLSnef3qw%2Bji2h8XdytAggwwzVPi05iLXqF8pSSC7jUXU%2FSOsW2FYHmYC2Tff8x9hVqPFHNSxPSab2YPkjESfdG8TUZbHAxgTlWzVGfBmamli%2Fxb3hEDR6q1Q9MW5XO5JECUkaUb1vq8xTFvs8gTdV8fN1QstTF%2FxRjhmPLGxcLdh6WdLO7FK2qXobYbFIQJ1XGrhP9llfFm9qKKvy%2FXRcjmDYrpKoHqR%2B38%2BkqF7DMmVpMZVgf%2F2KA1Z5TUP9KjYj7j7dm8BFiQrd35ppd7oQnW%2FoRLFyqqGW7ap9QQ87mj%2FTEOTGHlukXQOtTRDanFZn7JFDopJXyNKNirjU6pn4n%2BwP9aPo82FyQHUr65h53ziAzGPOP9DqQc7x7jOqT7%2BtSSSJHEkjmDLpF4wmtXV0QY6mAH6Vjm2V7BkBwFWYOFZZnBHU7yIY3WaPVz%2Fv%2B%2FzgotJQxY0BXHNUb3GkusBTmeK1oJW3ojijZb5jUk63fq5dkCQwEUGKP1TJlK9uOM9teBTsX91bWXbQdSA%2FH8HpCFGg05dNea2Oo%2BYEAMrN1PcwS5Qex3uZ%2FdY7VI2SCQbe%2BEu8hdZhVKsC8jJrNvxAx%2BoICkX5uf5HtjJVg%3D%3D&amp;Expires=1781889133\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dorothy Tennov, the psychologist who popularized the term, described limerence as an intense mental state where longing, uncertainty, and hope are strongly intertwined. In plain language: you no longer feel free internally, because a large part of your attention and emotional well-being seems to be tied to one person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you're still unsure whether you're dealing with ordinary infatuation or this more obsessive form, my blog&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/en\/just-in-love-or-limerence\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>Just in love or limerence?<\/strong><\/a>&nbsp;more grip on that distinction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Limerence without a relationship<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Limerence can develop when you're single, but also when you're already in a relationship. It's precisely the latter that often makes it extra confusing: you can genuinely care about your partner and still be completely overwhelmed by feelings for someone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What's important is that limerence can occur in all sorts of forms:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>With someone you've never actually met, for example online or mostly in fantasy.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>With someone you regularly have contact with, such as a colleague, friend, or acquaintance.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>With someone with whom a healthy relationship later develops.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>With or without sexual contact.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This means that limerence is not simply the same as an affair or cheating, even though it can certainly feel like an inner double life. The core is not just what actually happens, but how much mental and emotional space that other person occupies within you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When you notice that it's always \u201cthese types\u201d of people you latch onto, it can be helpful to look into\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/en\/why-he-or-she-limerence\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Why him or her?<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>to read further about patterns, projection, and old attachment pain. When that \u2018other\u2019 is a good platonic friend, it can lead to confusing feelings. In\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/en\/limerence-in-friendship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Limerence in friendship: obsessively in love with a friend<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>I will delve deeper into that dynamic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Falling in love with someone outside your relationship: why does it feel so strong?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Being in love with someone other than your partner can feel like living in two worlds at once. On one hand, there's your existing relationship with the ordinary daily reality; on the other hand, there's the intensity, excitement, and hope associated with that one other person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why does limerence often feel so intense? There are a few reasons for this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Uncertainty acts as fuel; you don't know what to expect, and that's precisely what keeps your brain alert.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Fantasy is given a lot of room; you don't experience the other person in full reality, but often in a mix of projection, desire, and hope.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Small signals gain enormous meaning; a message or a glance can feel like confirmation that you might just be chosen after all.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As a result, many people not only search for \u201climerence meaning\u201d but also for \u201chow to stop limerence,\u201d because they realize it's no longer just about infatuation but about losing control. If you no longer feel in control of your thoughts, it's very logical that you want to know how to stop or at least alleviate limerence.<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com\/web\/direct-files\/collection_b90c96e0-67ab-41b1-aac0-a66129a577ad\/3de90860-5a60-4a1c-a49f-c84dab74abed\/zoekwoorden-Limerence-Nederland-Belgie.docx?AWSAccessKeyId=ASIA2F3EMEYEV3JNEWHN&amp;Signature=lDcH78%2FTibW7SyBqCujbwBRhYrE%3D&amp;x-amz-security-token=IQoJb3JpZ2luX2VjEPn%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FwEaCXVzLWVhc3QtMSJHMEUCIAqN8uHUZwmhKMm8FVP0tzP912RY4MokOJmbI2nXpG%2BbAiEA3UEozBIJQX29KhwuYmcaduiPc3ao22jlpI0%2BRt4W2E4q%2FAQIwf%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FARABGgw2OTk3NTMzMDk3MDUiDJ8DDAod8xno3agBUirQBLylvhjXRSlmZQu0HOcF7XIyWAzIWRDDmeLcEYBSZiC7zaoYCom%2FwQTncfCfwEsjf3sq0JErTbf88AqrIFNvq8NmrsXDG2TCYy8GLM2MAqSAeA8OUdq8JfvaErxyFKoY6xXWtsOePrKgX9Vh2diHV%2B10J8hihXMFCB4Ji8Im5vhsWGcyXa8wROsCddh40vYVDnRD%2FSUq5D68KPjVGnxKWBMo4nBfDHOfIUkkg2u22RroAVBVev8gJeLZ5W%2Be0xfwOUlrZAgotbzbdD%2Bo633TCAaba2qopO11cZV5IVy53P2Z9B%2FDvDkC1RuJXW%2FsOZRTF%2Bkz0vP6zTlWUeJmq0PnMTrK63pbLAoY0e5v5aRNSfVCAtamKTnYaPCQH94l6Y7Mv7zAR76lLSnef3qw%2Bji2h8XdytAggwwzVPi05iLXqF8pSSC7jUXU%2FSOsW2FYHmYC2Tff8x9hVqPFHNSxPSab2YPkjESfdG8TUZbHAxgTlWzVGfBmamli%2Fxb3hEDR6q1Q9MW5XO5JECUkaUb1vq8xTFvs8gTdV8fN1QstTF%2FxRjhmPLGxcLdh6WdLO7FK2qXobYbFIQJ1XGrhP9llfFm9qKKvy%2FXRcjmDYrpKoHqR%2B38%2BkqF7DMmVpMZVgf%2F2KA1Z5TUP9KjYj7j7dm8BFiQrd35ppd7oQnW%2FoRLFyqqGW7ap9QQ87mj%2FTEOTGHlukXQOtTRDanFZn7JFDopJXyNKNirjU6pn4n%2BwP9aPo82FyQHUr65h53ziAzGPOP9DqQc7x7jOqT7%2BtSSSJHEkjmDLpF4wmtXV0QY6mAH6Vjm2V7BkBwFWYOFZZnBHU7yIY3WaPVz%2Fv%2B%2FzgotJQxY0BXHNUb3GkusBTmeK1oJW3ojijZb5jUk63fq5dkCQwEUGKP1TJlK9uOM9teBTsX91bWXbQdSA%2FH8HpCFGg05dNea2Oo%2BYEAMrN1PcwS5Qex3uZ%2FdY7VI2SCQbe%2BEu8hdZhVKsC8jJrNvxAx%2BoICkX5uf5HtjJVg%3D%3D&amp;Expires=1781889133\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Unreachable people, wanting to be chosen, and old attachment pain<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Underneath limerence often lies a deeper psychological layer. For many people, this state touches on attachment: the way you learned in the past to experience connection, safety, rejection, and closeness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">People with a more anxious or insecure attachment style often seem more susceptible to the dynamics of limerence, precisely because ambiguity, distance, and intermittent availability can activate old pain. It's not just about longing for that one person, but also about a deeper desire to finally be chosen, seen, or validated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That's often seen with unreachable people:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>People who are already busy.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>People who are emotionally unstable or distant.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>People who show just enough interest to keep hope alive.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Stopping limerence becomes so difficult because you're not only trying to say goodbye to a person, but also to an inner promise: maybe this time I *will* be chosen. That makes it painful, but also understandable. And precisely because of that, a gentle, honest look often helps more than self-condemnation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you feel that distance or less contact is needed to calm your mind and body, you will find&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/en\/no-contact-with-limerence\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>no contact with limerence<\/strong><\/a>&nbsp;more explanation about why boundaries can be so difficult and so helpful<a href=\"https:\/\/ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com\/web\/direct-files\/collection_b90c96e0-67ab-41b1-aac0-a66129a577ad\/3de90860-5a60-4a1c-a49f-c84dab74abed\/zoekwoorden-Limerence-Nederland-Belgie.docx?AWSAccessKeyId=ASIA2F3EMEYEV3JNEWHN&amp;Signature=lDcH78%2FTibW7SyBqCujbwBRhYrE%3D&amp;x-amz-security-token=IQoJb3JpZ2luX2VjEPn%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FwEaCXVzLWVhc3QtMSJHMEUCIAqN8uHUZwmhKMm8FVP0tzP912RY4MokOJmbI2nXpG%2BbAiEA3UEozBIJQX29KhwuYmcaduiPc3ao22jlpI0%2BRt4W2E4q%2FAQIwf%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FARABGgw2OTk3NTMzMDk3MDUiDJ8DDAod8xno3agBUirQBLylvhjXRSlmZQu0HOcF7XIyWAzIWRDDmeLcEYBSZiC7zaoYCom%2FwQTncfCfwEsjf3sq0JErTbf88AqrIFNvq8NmrsXDG2TCYy8GLM2MAqSAeA8OUdq8JfvaErxyFKoY6xXWtsOePrKgX9Vh2diHV%2B10J8hihXMFCB4Ji8Im5vhsWGcyXa8wROsCddh40vYVDnRD%2FSUq5D68KPjVGnxKWBMo4nBfDHOfIUkkg2u22RroAVBVev8gJeLZ5W%2Be0xfwOUlrZAgotbzbdD%2Bo633TCAaba2qopO11cZV5IVy53P2Z9B%2FDvDkC1RuJXW%2FsOZRTF%2Bkz0vP6zTlWUeJmq0PnMTrK63pbLAoY0e5v5aRNSfVCAtamKTnYaPCQH94l6Y7Mv7zAR76lLSnef3qw%2Bji2h8XdytAggwwzVPi05iLXqF8pSSC7jUXU%2FSOsW2FYHmYC2Tff8x9hVqPFHNSxPSab2YPkjESfdG8TUZbHAxgTlWzVGfBmamli%2Fxb3hEDR6q1Q9MW5XO5JECUkaUb1vq8xTFvs8gTdV8fN1QstTF%2FxRjhmPLGxcLdh6WdLO7FK2qXobYbFIQJ1XGrhP9llfFm9qKKvy%2FXRcjmDYrpKoHqR%2B38%2BkqF7DMmVpMZVgf%2F2KA1Z5TUP9KjYj7j7dm8BFiQrd35ppd7oQnW%2FoRLFyqqGW7ap9QQ87mj%2FTEOTGHlukXQOtTRDanFZn7JFDopJXyNKNirjU6pn4n%2BwP9aPo82FyQHUr65h53ziAzGPOP9DqQc7x7jOqT7%2BtSSSJHEkjmDLpF4wmtXV0QY6mAH6Vjm2V7BkBwFWYOFZZnBHU7yIY3WaPVz%2Fv%2B%2FzgotJQxY0BXHNUb3GkusBTmeK1oJW3ojijZb5jUk63fq5dkCQwEUGKP1TJlK9uOM9teBTsX91bWXbQdSA%2FH8HpCFGg05dNea2Oo%2BYEAMrN1PcwS5Qex3uZ%2FdY7VI2SCQbe%2BEu8hdZhVKsC8jJrNvxAx%2BoICkX5uf5HtjJVg%3D%3D&amp;Expires=1781889133\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Limerence with someone outside your relationship: guilt, shame, and looking honestly<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When limerence arises while you already have a partner, guilt and shame often immediately follow. Many people then think, \u201cWhat does this say about me?\u201d or \u201cDoes this mean something is fundamentally wrong with my relationship or with me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It helps to put two truths side-by-side here. First: limerence doesn't automatically make you a bad person. It's a human and psychological process where desire, attachment, projection, and sometimes unresolved pain come together. Second: it does require honesty. Not to harshly punish yourself, but to carefully examine what is happening within you, what you do with it, and what boundaries are necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Looking honestly can mean asking yourself questions like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>What am I missing right now in myself or in my life?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Why does this specific person affect me so deeply?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What old wound or pattern is being reactivated here?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Am I primarily in love with this person, or also with what this situation evokes in me?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That kind of honesty is often a starting point when you want to stop limerence. Not because you can immediately turn off your feelings, but because you stop being blindly led by them.<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com\/web\/direct-files\/collection_b90c96e0-67ab-41b1-aac0-a66129a577ad\/3de90860-5a60-4a1c-a49f-c84dab74abed\/zoekwoorden-Limerence-Nederland-Belgie.docx?AWSAccessKeyId=ASIA2F3EMEYEV3JNEWHN&amp;Signature=lDcH78%2FTibW7SyBqCujbwBRhYrE%3D&amp;x-amz-security-token=IQoJb3JpZ2luX2VjEPn%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FwEaCXVzLWVhc3QtMSJHMEUCIAqN8uHUZwmhKMm8FVP0tzP912RY4MokOJmbI2nXpG%2BbAiEA3UEozBIJQX29KhwuYmcaduiPc3ao22jlpI0%2BRt4W2E4q%2FAQIwf%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FARABGgw2OTk3NTMzMDk3MDUiDJ8DDAod8xno3agBUirQBLylvhjXRSlmZQu0HOcF7XIyWAzIWRDDmeLcEYBSZiC7zaoYCom%2FwQTncfCfwEsjf3sq0JErTbf88AqrIFNvq8NmrsXDG2TCYy8GLM2MAqSAeA8OUdq8JfvaErxyFKoY6xXWtsOePrKgX9Vh2diHV%2B10J8hihXMFCB4Ji8Im5vhsWGcyXa8wROsCddh40vYVDnRD%2FSUq5D68KPjVGnxKWBMo4nBfDHOfIUkkg2u22RroAVBVev8gJeLZ5W%2Be0xfwOUlrZAgotbzbdD%2Bo633TCAaba2qopO11cZV5IVy53P2Z9B%2FDvDkC1RuJXW%2FsOZRTF%2Bkz0vP6zTlWUeJmq0PnMTrK63pbLAoY0e5v5aRNSfVCAtamKTnYaPCQH94l6Y7Mv7zAR76lLSnef3qw%2Bji2h8XdytAggwwzVPi05iLXqF8pSSC7jUXU%2FSOsW2FYHmYC2Tff8x9hVqPFHNSxPSab2YPkjESfdG8TUZbHAxgTlWzVGfBmamli%2Fxb3hEDR6q1Q9MW5XO5JECUkaUb1vq8xTFvs8gTdV8fN1QstTF%2FxRjhmPLGxcLdh6WdLO7FK2qXobYbFIQJ1XGrhP9llfFm9qKKvy%2FXRcjmDYrpKoHqR%2B38%2BkqF7DMmVpMZVgf%2F2KA1Z5TUP9KjYj7j7dm8BFiQrd35ppd7oQnW%2FoRLFyqqGW7ap9QQ87mj%2FTEOTGHlukXQOtTRDanFZn7JFDopJXyNKNirjU6pn4n%2BwP9aPo82FyQHUr65h53ziAzGPOP9DqQc7x7jOqT7%2BtSSSJHEkjmDLpF4wmtXV0QY6mAH6Vjm2V7BkBwFWYOFZZnBHU7yIY3WaPVz%2Fv%2B%2FzgotJQxY0BXHNUb3GkusBTmeK1oJW3ojijZb5jUk63fq5dkCQwEUGKP1TJlK9uOM9teBTsX91bWXbQdSA%2FH8HpCFGg05dNea2Oo%2BYEAMrN1PcwS5Qex3uZ%2FdY7VI2SCQbe%2BEu8hdZhVKsC8jJrNvxAx%2BoICkX5uf5HtjJVg%3D%3D&amp;Expires=1781889133\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">First steps towards more peace<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you find that limerence is taking over your daily life, the question \u201chow can I stop limerence?\u201d is very understandable. Stopping it completely usually isn't possible with one decision, but you can take steps that reduce its hold.<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com\/web\/direct-files\/collection_b90c96e0-67ab-41b1-aac0-a66129a577ad\/3de90860-5a60-4a1c-a49f-c84dab74abed\/zoekwoorden-Limerence-Nederland-Belgie.docx?AWSAccessKeyId=ASIA2F3EMEYEV3JNEWHN&amp;Signature=lDcH78%2FTibW7SyBqCujbwBRhYrE%3D&amp;x-amz-security-token=IQoJb3JpZ2luX2VjEPn%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FwEaCXVzLWVhc3QtMSJHMEUCIAqN8uHUZwmhKMm8FVP0tzP912RY4MokOJmbI2nXpG%2BbAiEA3UEozBIJQX29KhwuYmcaduiPc3ao22jlpI0%2BRt4W2E4q%2FAQIwf%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FARABGgw2OTk3NTMzMDk3MDUiDJ8DDAod8xno3agBUirQBLylvhjXRSlmZQu0HOcF7XIyWAzIWRDDmeLcEYBSZiC7zaoYCom%2FwQTncfCfwEsjf3sq0JErTbf88AqrIFNvq8NmrsXDG2TCYy8GLM2MAqSAeA8OUdq8JfvaErxyFKoY6xXWtsOePrKgX9Vh2diHV%2B10J8hihXMFCB4Ji8Im5vhsWGcyXa8wROsCddh40vYVDnRD%2FSUq5D68KPjVGnxKWBMo4nBfDHOfIUkkg2u22RroAVBVev8gJeLZ5W%2Be0xfwOUlrZAgotbzbdD%2Bo633TCAaba2qopO11cZV5IVy53P2Z9B%2FDvDkC1RuJXW%2FsOZRTF%2Bkz0vP6zTlWUeJmq0PnMTrK63pbLAoY0e5v5aRNSfVCAtamKTnYaPCQH94l6Y7Mv7zAR76lLSnef3qw%2Bji2h8XdytAggwwzVPi05iLXqF8pSSC7jUXU%2FSOsW2FYHmYC2Tff8x9hVqPFHNSxPSab2YPkjESfdG8TUZbHAxgTlWzVGfBmamli%2Fxb3hEDR6q1Q9MW5XO5JECUkaUb1vq8xTFvs8gTdV8fN1QstTF%2FxRjhmPLGxcLdh6WdLO7FK2qXobYbFIQJ1XGrhP9llfFm9qKKvy%2FXRcjmDYrpKoHqR%2B38%2BkqF7DMmVpMZVgf%2F2KA1Z5TUP9KjYj7j7dm8BFiQrd35ppd7oQnW%2FoRLFyqqGW7ap9QQ87mj%2FTEOTGHlukXQOtTRDanFZn7JFDopJXyNKNirjU6pn4n%2BwP9aPo82FyQHUr65h53ziAzGPOP9DqQc7x7jOqT7%2BtSSSJHEkjmDLpF4wmtXV0QY6mAH6Vjm2V7BkBwFWYOFZZnBHU7yIY3WaPVz%2Fv%2B%2FzgotJQxY0BXHNUb3GkusBTmeK1oJW3ojijZb5jUk63fq5dkCQwEUGKP1TJlK9uOM9teBTsX91bWXbQdSA%2FH8HpCFGg05dNea2Oo%2BYEAMrN1PcwS5Qex3uZ%2FdY7VI2SCQbe%2BEu8hdZhVKsC8jJrNvxAx%2BoICkX5uf5HtjJVg%3D%3D&amp;Expires=1781889133\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A few first steps:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Name it honestly.<\/strong>&nbsp;Tell yourself that this could be limerence, not just innocent infatuation.<a href=\"https:\/\/livingwithlimerence.com\/what-is-limerence\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"translation-block\"><strong>Reduce fuel.<\/strong> Checking socials less, feeding the fantasy less, and seeking less extra contact often helps more than people expect.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"translation-block\"><strong>Write patterns down.<\/strong> Notice when the obsessive thoughts are strongest and what tends to come right before them.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"translation-block\"><strong>Explore the underlying layer.<\/strong> Don\u2019t just look at the other person, but also at your need to be chosen, your attachment history, and your current vulnerabilities.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"translation-block\"><strong>Seek support.<\/strong> A therapist, coach, or safe space can help when you want to stop limerence and don\u2019t want to stay stuck spinning in your own head.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In my own process, I noticed that real change only began when I dared to look at my patterns, attachment pain, and longing to be chosen, and when I learned methods to constantly return to the here and now. From that experience, I have a<a href=\"https:\/\/in.sidssaferoom.com\/outoflimerence\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong> theory and workbook written <\/strong><\/a>in which you explore step by step with the same exercises what feeds your limerence, how to gain more control over triggers, and how to make small, achievable movements towards peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure data-spectra-id=\"spectra-mql5jy2q-es1cbc\" class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/in.sidssaferoom.com\/outoflimerence\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\" noreferrer noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"578\" height=\"825\" src=\"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/English-book-cover-small-1.png\" alt=\"The book cover. Breaking Free from Limerence by Sidney C. Solace\" class=\"wp-image-650\"  title=\"In love with someone other than your partner: is it limerence?\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/English-book-cover-small-1.png 674w, https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/English-book-cover-small-1-188x300.png 188w, https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/English-book-cover-small-1-643x1024.png 643w, https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/English-book-cover-small-1-8x12.png 8w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 578px) 100vw, 578px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you\u2019d like to go deeper with this, my workbook can be a calm and practical next step. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">To think about yourself<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These questions won\u2019t stop limerence all at once, but they can help you see more honestly what is happening inside you.<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com\/web\/direct-files\/collection_b90c96e0-67ab-41b1-aac0-a66129a577ad\/3de90860-5a60-4a1c-a49f-c84dab74abed\/zoekwoorden-Limerence-Nederland-Belgie.docx?AWSAccessKeyId=ASIA2F3EMEYEV3JNEWHN&amp;Signature=lDcH78%2FTibW7SyBqCujbwBRhYrE%3D&amp;x-amz-security-token=IQoJb3JpZ2luX2VjEPn%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FwEaCXVzLWVhc3QtMSJHMEUCIAqN8uHUZwmhKMm8FVP0tzP912RY4MokOJmbI2nXpG%2BbAiEA3UEozBIJQX29KhwuYmcaduiPc3ao22jlpI0%2BRt4W2E4q%2FAQIwf%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FARABGgw2OTk3NTMzMDk3MDUiDJ8DDAod8xno3agBUirQBLylvhjXRSlmZQu0HOcF7XIyWAzIWRDDmeLcEYBSZiC7zaoYCom%2FwQTncfCfwEsjf3sq0JErTbf88AqrIFNvq8NmrsXDG2TCYy8GLM2MAqSAeA8OUdq8JfvaErxyFKoY6xXWtsOePrKgX9Vh2diHV%2B10J8hihXMFCB4Ji8Im5vhsWGcyXa8wROsCddh40vYVDnRD%2FSUq5D68KPjVGnxKWBMo4nBfDHOfIUkkg2u22RroAVBVev8gJeLZ5W%2Be0xfwOUlrZAgotbzbdD%2Bo633TCAaba2qopO11cZV5IVy53P2Z9B%2FDvDkC1RuJXW%2FsOZRTF%2Bkz0vP6zTlWUeJmq0PnMTrK63pbLAoY0e5v5aRNSfVCAtamKTnYaPCQH94l6Y7Mv7zAR76lLSnef3qw%2Bji2h8XdytAggwwzVPi05iLXqF8pSSC7jUXU%2FSOsW2FYHmYC2Tff8x9hVqPFHNSxPSab2YPkjESfdG8TUZbHAxgTlWzVGfBmamli%2Fxb3hEDR6q1Q9MW5XO5JECUkaUb1vq8xTFvs8gTdV8fN1QstTF%2FxRjhmPLGxcLdh6WdLO7FK2qXobYbFIQJ1XGrhP9llfFm9qKKvy%2FXRcjmDYrpKoHqR%2B38%2BkqF7DMmVpMZVgf%2F2KA1Z5TUP9KjYj7j7dm8BFiQrd35ppd7oQnW%2FoRLFyqqGW7ap9QQ87mj%2FTEOTGHlukXQOtTRDanFZn7JFDopJXyNKNirjU6pn4n%2BwP9aPo82FyQHUr65h53ziAzGPOP9DqQc7x7jOqT7%2BtSSSJHEkjmDLpF4wmtXV0QY6mAH6Vjm2V7BkBwFWYOFZZnBHU7yIY3WaPVz%2Fv%2B%2FzgotJQxY0BXHNUb3GkusBTmeK1oJW3ojijZb5jUk63fq5dkCQwEUGKP1TJlK9uOM9teBTsX91bWXbQdSA%2FH8HpCFGg05dNea2Oo%2BYEAMrN1PcwS5Qex3uZ%2FdY7VI2SCQbe%2BEu8hdZhVKsC8jJrNvxAx%2BoICkX5uf5HtjJVg%3D%3D&amp;Expires=1781889133\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>What does limerence really mean for me right now: is it mostly about love, about longing, about validation, or about wanting to be chosen?<a href=\"https:\/\/limerence.net\/limerence-and-attachment-theory\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com\/web\/direct-files\/collection_b90c96e0-67ab-41b1-aac0-a66129a577ad\/3de90860-5a60-4a1c-a49f-c84dab74abed\/zoekwoorden-Limerence-Nederland-Belgie.docx?AWSAccessKeyId=ASIA2F3EMEYEV3JNEWHN&amp;Signature=lDcH78%2FTibW7SyBqCujbwBRhYrE%3D&amp;x-amz-security-token=IQoJb3JpZ2luX2VjEPn%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FwEaCXVzLWVhc3QtMSJHMEUCIAqN8uHUZwmhKMm8FVP0tzP912RY4MokOJmbI2nXpG%2BbAiEA3UEozBIJQX29KhwuYmcaduiPc3ao22jlpI0%2BRt4W2E4q%2FAQIwf%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FARABGgw2OTk3NTMzMDk3MDUiDJ8DDAod8xno3agBUirQBLylvhjXRSlmZQu0HOcF7XIyWAzIWRDDmeLcEYBSZiC7zaoYCom%2FwQTncfCfwEsjf3sq0JErTbf88AqrIFNvq8NmrsXDG2TCYy8GLM2MAqSAeA8OUdq8JfvaErxyFKoY6xXWtsOePrKgX9Vh2diHV%2B10J8hihXMFCB4Ji8Im5vhsWGcyXa8wROsCddh40vYVDnRD%2FSUq5D68KPjVGnxKWBMo4nBfDHOfIUkkg2u22RroAVBVev8gJeLZ5W%2Be0xfwOUlrZAgotbzbdD%2Bo633TCAaba2qopO11cZV5IVy53P2Z9B%2FDvDkC1RuJXW%2FsOZRTF%2Bkz0vP6zTlWUeJmq0PnMTrK63pbLAoY0e5v5aRNSfVCAtamKTnYaPCQH94l6Y7Mv7zAR76lLSnef3qw%2Bji2h8XdytAggwwzVPi05iLXqF8pSSC7jUXU%2FSOsW2FYHmYC2Tff8x9hVqPFHNSxPSab2YPkjESfdG8TUZbHAxgTlWzVGfBmamli%2Fxb3hEDR6q1Q9MW5XO5JECUkaUb1vq8xTFvs8gTdV8fN1QstTF%2FxRjhmPLGxcLdh6WdLO7FK2qXobYbFIQJ1XGrhP9llfFm9qKKvy%2FXRcjmDYrpKoHqR%2B38%2BkqF7DMmVpMZVgf%2F2KA1Z5TUP9KjYj7j7dm8BFiQrd35ppd7oQnW%2FoRLFyqqGW7ap9QQ87mj%2FTEOTGHlukXQOtTRDanFZn7JFDopJXyNKNirjU6pn4n%2BwP9aPo82FyQHUr65h53ziAzGPOP9DqQc7x7jOqT7%2BtSSSJHEkjmDLpF4wmtXV0QY6mAH6Vjm2V7BkBwFWYOFZZnBHU7yIY3WaPVz%2Fv%2B%2FzgotJQxY0BXHNUb3GkusBTmeK1oJW3ojijZb5jUk63fq5dkCQwEUGKP1TJlK9uOM9teBTsX91bWXbQdSA%2FH8HpCFGg05dNea2Oo%2BYEAMrN1PcwS5Qex3uZ%2FdY7VI2SCQbe%2BEu8hdZhVKsC8jJrNvxAx%2BoICkX5uf5HtjJVg%3D%3D&amp;Expires=1781889133\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/livingwithlimerence.com\/limerence-and-emotional-attachment\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>When do thoughts about this person become the strongest, and what does that reveal about my stress, loneliness, or unmet needs?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What role does unavailability play in this attraction?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What am I trying to hold on to, deep down, when I think about stopping limerence?<a href=\"https:\/\/livingwithlimerence.com\/why-wasnt-i-good-enough-for-them\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com\/web\/direct-files\/collection_b90c96e0-67ab-41b1-aac0-a66129a577ad\/3de90860-5a60-4a1c-a49f-c84dab74abed\/zoekwoorden-Limerence-Nederland-Belgie.docx?AWSAccessKeyId=ASIA2F3EMEYEV3JNEWHN&amp;Signature=lDcH78%2FTibW7SyBqCujbwBRhYrE%3D&amp;x-amz-security-token=IQoJb3JpZ2luX2VjEPn%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FwEaCXVzLWVhc3QtMSJHMEUCIAqN8uHUZwmhKMm8FVP0tzP912RY4MokOJmbI2nXpG%2BbAiEA3UEozBIJQX29KhwuYmcaduiPc3ao22jlpI0%2BRt4W2E4q%2FAQIwf%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FARABGgw2OTk3NTMzMDk3MDUiDJ8DDAod8xno3agBUirQBLylvhjXRSlmZQu0HOcF7XIyWAzIWRDDmeLcEYBSZiC7zaoYCom%2FwQTncfCfwEsjf3sq0JErTbf88AqrIFNvq8NmrsXDG2TCYy8GLM2MAqSAeA8OUdq8JfvaErxyFKoY6xXWtsOePrKgX9Vh2diHV%2B10J8hihXMFCB4Ji8Im5vhsWGcyXa8wROsCddh40vYVDnRD%2FSUq5D68KPjVGnxKWBMo4nBfDHOfIUkkg2u22RroAVBVev8gJeLZ5W%2Be0xfwOUlrZAgotbzbdD%2Bo633TCAaba2qopO11cZV5IVy53P2Z9B%2FDvDkC1RuJXW%2FsOZRTF%2Bkz0vP6zTlWUeJmq0PnMTrK63pbLAoY0e5v5aRNSfVCAtamKTnYaPCQH94l6Y7Mv7zAR76lLSnef3qw%2Bji2h8XdytAggwwzVPi05iLXqF8pSSC7jUXU%2FSOsW2FYHmYC2Tff8x9hVqPFHNSxPSab2YPkjESfdG8TUZbHAxgTlWzVGfBmamli%2Fxb3hEDR6q1Q9MW5XO5JECUkaUb1vq8xTFvs8gTdV8fN1QstTF%2FxRjhmPLGxcLdh6WdLO7FK2qXobYbFIQJ1XGrhP9llfFm9qKKvy%2FXRcjmDYrpKoHqR%2B38%2BkqF7DMmVpMZVgf%2F2KA1Z5TUP9KjYj7j7dm8BFiQrd35ppd7oQnW%2FoRLFyqqGW7ap9QQ87mj%2FTEOTGHlukXQOtTRDanFZn7JFDopJXyNKNirjU6pn4n%2BwP9aPo82FyQHUr65h53ziAzGPOP9DqQc7x7jOqT7%2BtSSSJHEkjmDLpF4wmtXV0QY6mAH6Vjm2V7BkBwFWYOFZZnBHU7yIY3WaPVz%2Fv%2B%2FzgotJQxY0BXHNUb3GkusBTmeK1oJW3ojijZb5jUk63fq5dkCQwEUGKP1TJlK9uOM9teBTsX91bWXbQdSA%2FH8HpCFGg05dNea2Oo%2BYEAMrN1PcwS5Qex3uZ%2FdY7VI2SCQbe%2BEu8hdZhVKsC8jJrNvxAx%2BoICkX5uf5HtjJVg%3D%3D&amp;Expires=1781889133\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/limerence.net\/limerence-and-attachment-theory\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Which small boundary could help me feed my limerence a little less this week?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You might not need to have all the answers right away. Sometimes it\u2019s enough to see just one pattern a little more clearly than you did yesterday. If limerence has been part of how your brain handles longing, restlessness, hope, and rejection for a long time, it makes sense that change doesn\u2019t happen all at once.\n\nOld pathways are often strengthened by repetition, and new ways of feeling, thinking, and responding need time, practice, and gentleness before they start to feel familiar. That\u2019s why letting go often feels slow: you\u2019re not weak, you\u2019re relearning something your nervous system has probably done differently for a very long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">FAQ about Limerence while you have a partner<br><\/h2>\n\n\n<div id=\"rank-math-faq\" class=\"rank-math-block\">\n<div class=\"rank-math-list\">\n<div id=\"faq-question-1781887446618\" class=\"rank-math-list-item\">\n<h3 class=\"rank-math-question\">What exactly is limerence?<\/h3>\n<div class=\"rank-math-answer\">\n\n<p>Limerence is an intense form of obsessive infatuation where you think a lot about one person, strongly desire reciprocity, and can become very emotionally dependent on small signals from that person. It often feels more compelling and restless than ordinary infatuation because hope, uncertainty, and idealization play a large role.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"faq-question-1781887463811\" class=\"rank-math-list-item\">\n<h3 class=\"rank-math-question\">Can limerence also happen if you already have a partner?<\/h3>\n<div class=\"rank-math-answer\">\n\n<p>Yes, limerence can also occur while you are already in a relationship. This often makes it extra confusing and painful, but it doesn't automatically mean you are a bad person or that your entire relationship is fake by definition.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"faq-question-1781887489026\" class=\"rank-math-list-item\">\n<h3 class=\"rank-math-question\">Does limerence mean I don't love my partner anymore?<\/h3>\n<div class=\"rank-math-answer\">\n\n<p>Not necessarily. Limerence and love are not the same process. Limerence often revolves around uncertainty, desire, projection, and the longing to be chosen, while love usually involves more peace, reality, and reciprocity.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"faq-question-1781887515646\" class=\"rank-math-list-item\">\n<h3 class=\"rank-math-question\">Can limerence arise without physical contact?<\/h3>\n<div class=\"rank-math-answer\">\n\n<p>Yes. Limerence can also arise with someone you primarily know online, someone you've barely spoken to, or someone with whom contact mainly exists in fantasy or small moments. Precisely because there's little real-world interaction, your mind can fill in a lot, and the fixation can become stronger.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"faq-question-1781887535487\" class=\"rank-math-list-item\">\n<h3 class=\"rank-math-question\">Why does limerence feel so addictive?<\/h3>\n<div class=\"rank-math-answer\">\n\n<p>Limerence often feels addictive because your brain strongly reacts to uncertainty, hope, and occasional rewarding signals from the other person. This can lead you into a pattern of constantly checking, fantasizing, hoping, and relapsing, even when you rationally know it doesn't bring you peace.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"faq-question-1781887560052\" class=\"rank-math-list-item\">\n<h3 class=\"rank-math-question\">Does limerence have anything to do with attachment?<\/h3>\n<div class=\"rank-math-answer\">\n\n<p>Often, yes. Many experts link limerence to insecure attachment patterns, unmet relational needs, and old pain around<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group has-border-color has-ast-global-color-1-border-color is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\" style=\"border-width:3px\">\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\">About the author<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-7387b849 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<figure data-spectra-id=\"spectra-mqgj2oxa-8zi00i\" class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full has-custom-border\" ><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"333\" height=\"196\" src=\"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Sidneys-eyes-1.jpg\" alt=\"Sidney&#039;s eyes\" class=\"has-border-color wp-image-590\"  title=\"In love with someone other than your partner: is it limerence?\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Sidneys-eyes-1.jpg 333w, https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Sidneys-eyes-1-300x177.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 333px) 100vw, 333px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>I am Sidney, writer, researcher, and the driving force behind <em>Sid's Saferoom<\/em>. In addition to my years of personal experience with breaking free from limerence, I am certified <strong>Trauma-Informed Coach<\/strong> (IPHM-accredited via Kirsty Watson, <em>The Complete Approach<\/em>). <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">Knowing firsthand how lonely and exhausting obsessive infatuation can be, I dedicate my work to helping others heal. I write about it and developed the theory and workbook Out of the Limerence Loop. My mission is to provide you with the psychological insights and practical tools needed to interrupt the obsessive loop and restore peace to your nervous system.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Want to know more?<\/strong> Read my full story on the <a href=\"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/en\/contact\/\" target=\"_blank\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.com\/contact\/\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>About me<\/strong><\/a>-page.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Weekly support?<\/strong> Subscribe to my English-language essays at <a href=\"https:\/\/sidssaferoom.substack.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>substack.com.<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In dit artikel lees je wat limerence is, wat de limerence betekenis is als je al een partner hebt, en 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dit artikel lees je wat limerence is, wat de limerence betekenis is als je al een partner hebt, en 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